Language y idioma

I just looked over my first post and I realized that really, it said nothing. Well, I suppose it offered some evidence that I really did make it here, but beyond that....




But at the same time, my lack of disclosure about life here, sort of reveals something of its own. There are so many incredible and shocking surprises about this places that I almost feel paralyzed-- in the sense that I'm lacking the vocabulary and capacity to articulate the experiences here. However, recognition is the first step to recovery, right? So, now that I at least know that I'm failing, I can attempt something more.



For example, the simple fact of being surrounded by a completely different language and trying to communicate in that language has radically changed the way I am able to interact in my surroundings. I’ve studied Spanish for some years now, but I haven’t ever needed to rely on my Spanish-speaking abilities and thus, I’ve never really developed the ability to communicate fluidly in the language. Needless to say, on arrival here… it’s been a bit of a shock to go 100% in to Spanish! (ok. Except, that I should admit that los otros gringos y yo a veces abandonamos espanol) However, my point is that now Spanish is my means of communication and it’s really changed the way I can think and express myself. Without the words to describe an idea, the idea remains an abstraction that I have difficulty pulling into reality. I remember reading some philosopher that said our reality is the product of our discourse. The words we have and the way we use these words define our reality. I think that it’s kind of like the idea that the Eskimos have something like 20 different words for snow and therefore they are able to understand snow in a very different capacity than someone like me who only has a handful of words for snow. Anyways, at first when I heard this philosopher, I wasn’t so sure about his theory. Sometimes you have a feeling and you don’t know how to express it , but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist. However, now, being forced to adopt a new language, and one that I am far from mastering, I find myself often in this no-man’s land of thoughts. I know that I have a question or a thought about some subject, but I can’t define it. However, I don’t mean for this rant to sound like a wallow in sorrow. I’m loving thinking in a different way… as frustrating as it is. While it sometimes feels like there is a wall blocking my thoughts from being articulated, speaking a different language has also opened this whole other way of understanding. There are ways of talking and structures that just don’t exist in English and so you have this incredible new perspective.